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Feb. 11th, 2008

update

comming soon

Nov. 11th, 2007

update

I met someone finally. someone who is amazing. his name is Edwin. He is 21. He is soo sweet and extreamly cute. I miss him everytime i'm not with him.

Oct. 29th, 2007

for saul - perfect memory

 
Remember how they always seemed to know
We had the forest in our eyes
But the earth was in our clothes
And they thought we'd fall
Not at all

So look back on the treasured days
We were young in a world that was so tired
Though it's not what we wanted before
Even the saints had to crawl from the floor
Summers when the money was gone you'd sing
All you're little songs that meant everything to me

And I'll remember you
And the things that we used to do
And the things that we used to say
I'll remember you that way

Remember how they tried to hold you down
And we climbed those towers
And looked down upon our town
And everything you hoped would last
Just always becomes your past (it hurts)
Summers when the money was gone you'd sing
All your little songs that meant everything to me

And I'll remember you
And the things that we used to do
And the things that we used to say
I'll remember you always

But then this world slipped through my fingers
And even the sun seemed tired
I still cared
As I lowered you down my heart just jaded
In that moment the earth made no sound
But you were there
You helped me lift my pain into the air

And I'll remember you
And the things that we used to do
And the things that we used to say

I still miss you
God I still miss you
I know that you are waiting there
I always thought that you'd come home

If it don't hurt you
It won't hurt me
It don't hurt me
Then it won't hurt you
If it don't hurt you
It won't hurt me that way

Oct. 22nd, 2007

the breakup

saul and i broke up at 3am sunday morning october the 21st.

Oct. 19th, 2007

cookies and ice coffee

On Wensday October 17th, i made Saul some chocolate chip cookies and i got him an iced coffee from duncan donuts. He was very excited and supprised about it. I fed them to him. It was romantic, kinda. I remember 79..9 was on the radio and they were playing relaxed romance music. At one point of the evening he looked at me and was like "Hey there green eyes" omg i was butter. It was very nice. I am going to make him some more cookies for saturday and he is gonna make me leche con cafe.

Oct. 15th, 2007

calmness

for the first day in 3 weeks my chest hasnt hurt any! thank god. today was good. i have a date with my man tomorrow night that i am excited about. it has been 3 nights since i have seen him. that is the longest we have spent apart.

Oct. 14th, 2007

my fav rbd song

"I Wanna Be The Rain"

The rain rain rain...
It's not enough to be the one who holds you
It's not enough to be the one your close to
I want to be so much more
The love that your living for
The air you breath
I wanna be everything that touches you everything

[Chorus:]
I wanna be the rain that falls on you
Washes away the pain
I wanna be the sun that shines on you
Warms your world each day
I wanna be the sky that holds the stars for you
So you never lose your way
I wanna be the wind that kisses your face
I wanna be the rain

It's not enough for me to be around you
I wanna be everything that surrounds you
The sun to light up on your skin
Each breath that your breathing in
Or that you need
I wanna be everything that touches you everything

[Chorus:]
I wanna be the rain that falls on you
Washes away the pain
I wanna be the sun that shines on you
Warms your world each day
I wanna be the sky that holds the stars for you
So you never lose your way
I wanna be the wind that kisses your face
I wanna be the rain

And even in your sleep
when your dreaming
I wanna be the only thing you see
won't you be there in everything

[Chorus:]
I wanna be the rain that falls on you
Washes away the pain
I wanna be the sun that shines on you
Warms your world each day
I wanna be the sky that holds the stars for you
So you never lose your way
I wanna be the wind that kisses your face
I wanna be the rain

I wanna be the... rain
Rain..
The Rain

this is love

"This Is Love"

It's so magical
How simple it can be
For this love
For this sweetest love

It's so simple
And so easy when you know
Who you love
Who you really love

Is it this real or is it a game?
It's only love
But everything has changed

Is it love? It is love!
This is love and you can't break it
It is love only love
This is love and you can't mistake it
This is love

It's so simple that there's nothing to explain
In this love
What else can I say?

I don't know how long
A love like this can last
But it feels
Like you're here to stay

Is this real or is it a game?
Its only love but everything has changed

Is it love? It is love!
This is love and you can't break it
It is love only love
This is love and you can't mistake it
Is it love? It is love!
This is love you can't break it
It is love only love
This is love you can't mistake it
This is love

Is it love? It is love!
This is love and you can't break it (Love you can't break it)
It is love only love
This is love and you can't mistake it (Can't mistake it)
Is it love? It is love! (Yes this is love)
This is love you can't break it (Love you can't break it)
It is love only love (Yes this is love)
This is love you can't mistake it (Can't mistake it)
This is love

Tu amor

"Tu Amor"

Mi amor I'm not sure of the right words to say
Maybe these simple words will do best to best explain
What I feel in my heart
What I feel more each day
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to say how to say how I love you so
With words you understand
Words that get right through to your heart
Here's the place to start

[CORO]
Tu amor, I will always be
Tu amor, means the world to me
Estarás siempre en mi corazón
You're the one in my soul
And I live for tu amor, tu amor.

Mi amor love you more with each look in your eyes
Maybe these simple words will do best to best describe
What I feel in my heart
What I'll feel for all time
How to make you see
How to let you know
How to say how to say how I need you so
With words you understand
Words that get through to your soul
Words that let you now

[CORO]

You're the one that
I need in my arms
Believe me these words
I say are words that come straight from my heart
How do I make you believe
Nothing else means as much as what you mean to me

......blaness.....

ok so i sent Saul this email telling him how much he means to me and in it i included that i loved him. Well, i dont start stuff like that so it was my way of letting him know. he told me i was going just a bit too fast for him and he wasnt quite there yet. so thats cool. he did mention we had something great between us. Last night we went to see Elizabeth the movie. which was great. I told him i trusted him 98% and was working on the other 2% and to be patient. i also told him the ball was in his court wit the "i love you thing".

Oct. 9th, 2007

my nerves..

The past 2 months my nerves have gotten really bad for unknown reasons. I get really fidgity and have anexity in my chest alot.

....love.....

....how can i tell him i love him.....I love him. How can i tell him i'm always thinking of him. Always thinking of him. i just cant find the right words to say.

Sep. 23rd, 2007

My love....

September 27th will mark the one month anniversary of Saul and I. Yes, his name is Saul Rivera. He is 20, 21 on November 30th. He makes me feel so amazing. When I think of him i feel so alone. I feel most comfortable and like myself when i am with him. Not to mention he is adorable. All i want to do is make him happy. Massage his back, rub his legs and feet. Make him feel good. He makes me feel good in return. Since i've met him, no other guy in the world exsists. We went to the beach a week ago (september 14th-15th) and it was great. I have the most wonderful photos and memories. He and i played in the ocean, on the beach, in the sand. It was so romantic. There is so much more I could say. Much more I will say.....in time.

Jul. 1st, 2007

Bedshaped

Many's the time I ran with you down
The rainy roads of our old town
Many the lives we lived in each day
And buried altogether
Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

I know you think I'm holding you down
And I've fallen by the wayside now
And I don't understand the same things as you
But I do

Don't laugh at me
Don't look away

You'll follow me back
With the sun in your eyes
And on your own
Bedshaped
And legs of stone
You'll knock on my door
And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

And up we'll go
In white light
I don't think so
But what do I know?
What do I know?
I know!

coldplay lyrics

Come up to meet ya, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need ya
And tell you I set you apart
Tell me your secrets, and nurse me your questions
Oh lets go back to the start
Running in circles, coming in tails
Heads on a science apart
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Green eyes

Honey you are a rock
Upon which I stand
And I came here to talk
I hope you understand
The green eyes, yeah the spotlight, shines upon you
And how could, anybody, deny you
I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter now I met you
And honey you should know
That I could never go on without you
Green eyes

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know

The green eyes, you're the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who tried to deny you, must be out of their mind
Because I came here with a load
And it feels so much lighter since I met you
Honey you should know
That I could never go on without you
Green eyes, green eyes

Number 1

Number 1
Walk out into velvet
Nothing more to say
You're my favourite moment
You're my Saturday

Cos you're my Number 1
I'm like a dog to get you
I want it up and on
I'm like a dog to get you

Sunset only seconds
Just ripe then it's gone
Got no new intentions
Just right then it's gone

Cos you're my Number 1
I'm like a dog to get you
I want it up and on
I'm like a dog to get you

I'll be there to meet you
Getting down to greet you
Howl under the moon

inside joke from Gold Man Junk

"aint dan bout de tim dat we revisis eachdu on a mur fisical basiss"
and
"i kind don gatta taste for yer gravy and wasa hoppin yud gimme a tas of dat meet"

Jun. 30th, 2007

People i always want to remember who i dont talk to...

megan & christie
Hannah
jason grattin
emily cosey
danielle bright
heather mcfalls
fei fei
jeaney
jonathan buchannan
kris & dale
marcia
caroline kistler & johnny
melanie huss
joyce kistler
tyler & jerm burlison
tripp webb
andre
robin
christpoher robinson
heather toney & yanni
connie hammje
tonja
april
mandy
lucinda (from red lobster)

lil' L.O.V.E.

(y'all know what this is is!)
can I get a little bit a L-O-V-E? (MC)
can ya spend a little bit of dough on me?
(Bone Thugs)
can I get a little bit a ya T-I-M-E
(the lil homeboy Bow Wow)
boy if ya wanna make it (MC)
could ya gotta give a little bit a..
(what's your perspective?)

[Mariah Carey + (Krayzie Bone)]
monday we will not, (I'm outta love)
tuesday you had time, (and macked it all)
we just break up again
you want me to let you back in
but tonight I'm like no
ohh, uh uh uh ohh, my box has opened
my body has all said yes, I hate this mess
boy you just ain't no good for me
this ain't no way real love should be..

took you back once, took you back twice
took you back, three, four, five times
they said these streets is over
boy youve been close to lies
took you back once, took you back twice
took you back, three, four, five times
cant see the light, but you, somebody help me!

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